For as far back as I can remember, I’ve had a hard time sleeping. When I was around 7 or 8 I couldn’t sleep because of all my food allergies, but it got better once we sorted that out. Better, but not good. I was still never the one of those people who could fall asleep right away. Even as a kid my mind ran a million miles a minute, so it took me a little longer to shut it off.
Nothing’s changed since then. My mind still goes a million miles a minute and sometimes I just can’t make it shut up. It gets really frustrating when it’s past midnight, I’ve been in bed since 10, and I know I want to get up at 5 to workout. It’s even worse when it gets to be past 1. Or when I finally fall asleep and wake up an hour later. Or when my alarm goes off at 5 as planned, and I’m already awake.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that insomnia sucks ass.
You would think that after years of practice I’d be good at this by now, but I’m not.
I know that I can’t fall asleep in complete darkness, so I keep my blinds open just a touch.
I know that if I don’t go through my nighttime checklist out loud, I will get up 6 times to make sure the oven is off and that no killers are under my bed.
I also know that I need a distraction or my mind will run wild, so I try to fall sleep with the tv on. But there comes a point in every night where instead of being helpful, the tv only makes it worse. It’s a very fine line.
I really thought that after my long ass run on Sunday, I’d be tired enough to get a solid night’s sleep. Or at the very least, I figured after running for that amount of time my brain would be all thought out. And yet, when I went to bed I had that annoying exhausted but wired feeling that I know all too well.
And once the insomnia starts, I’m pretty much effed for the week. School takes up just enough time to guarantee less than 8 hours of sleep, and so I stress about getting every second of sleep that I can. Which means I lay awake.
So basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m tired. I stood at the bottom of the stairs at work yesterday for a minute and a half trying to decide if I was really thirsty enough to climb them just for a glass of water. Then I seriously considered sliding back down them on my butt so my legs could have a break.
Everyone suggests taking something to help me sleep, but sleeping pills give me anxiety and wind up having the opposite effect. I’ve tried teas, and mass amounts of wine. I’ve tried music, I’ve tried special sleep tapes, mind tricks, all of that. It doesn’t make a difference.
All I can do is wait it out. I know this. I’ve always known this, but it’s boring. The middle if the night is boring. Unless I’m at the bar with a hot boy if it’s 3am I’d rather be sleeping.
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Blah lady. That sucks! I suffered from insomnia in high school and college. The best thing I could do was tell myself I could sleep in and miss class if I was reeeeeallly tired. I never did it but was able to trick myself enough to relax.
I think you should try melatonin for 2 weeks and see if that helps. Helped Jord a bit anyways.
Sorry dude.
I used to be horrible about sleeping as a kid. It would take me at least an hour to “power down” before sleep was even feasible. Ah to have that energy again…
My mom is bad about sleeping now, and we were talking about it over the weekend. My cousin suggested melatonin (as someone else commented, too). She said just a low dosage and see what happens. Plus it’s natural. Couldn’t hurt, right?
That wired but exhausted feeling is the worst! Especially when you go all day feeling like you’re about to fall asleep standing up, and then get in bed and just lay awake. It seems impossible, but it happens every time. And sleeping people just don’t get it. And when I’m having a bad bout, I hate everyone who can sleep. We’re allowed to do that.
I feel your pain girl. I hope you get some sleep soon!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this
Clearing your mind is the hardest when you need to. What the heck is up with that?!
I hope you find something that works soon. Let’s find you a hot boy
There are times when I get the shakes from being so tired. I hate insomnia. I have bouts of it, but it isn’t constant. But when it happens, it happens bad (usually every couple of weeks).
And you’re right, there is NOTHING that works except to just lay there struggling to fall asleep wanting to kill those around you who are blissfully snoring!
I have insomnia too and it does really suck! Sooooooooooo sorry! And it puts me in such a bad mood and frequently it builds on itself and makes it harder to get to sleep the next night therefore I start worrying about it ahead of time. I really empathize.
At least you have Lexie to snuggle. If she’s like Sadie, though, she is no help at all. Sadie snores a bit and lays at my feet, all 70 lbs of her and I when I try to wake her up to stay awake with me, she just looks up at me, fairly disgusted, jumps off the bed and curls up behind a chair on the floor, pissed off. Then she wakes me up at 5 wide eyed and bushy tailed ready for her walk. Hell no.
Insomnia usually hits me very randomly (and thankfully, very rarely) but it’s usually around 3am, I wake up and just cannot fall back asleep. So I can’t even imagine an entire night of that.
I have insomnia too and it sucks. Like you, even after long runs, I would struggle to fall asleep and it made me feel so crazy. I totally wanted to punch Eric in the face as he was sleeping b/c he could and I couldn’t! I finally give in and started taking Ambien. It helped me but I know it’s not for everyone. Hope you find something that works for you, sweets!
Oh, I feel you sister. I am right there with you. There is no “off” button to my mind. It sucks. Even when I take sleeping medicine – like I did last night – my body fights it and keep me awake, tossing and turning, thinking about ridiculous crap. It’s the worst!
I cannot relate, but I can imagine this is brutal to deal with. Hugs, Leah!
Insomnia sucks. As does jet lag! I hope you get some good sleep soon my friend.
Hope you have a good weekend too!!
I’m so sorry…I hope that this bout with insomnia will soon pass and you are able to get a good night’s sleep this weekend!
Insomnia sucks! Have you tried putting on a movie or something that you know by heart and then setting a sleep timer on the TV? It’s probably completely inadvisable, but it works for me sometimes!
Ugh! I am so sorry. I can not imagine. Have you ever thought about talking to your doctor to see if there is a safe sleeping medicine you can take? Or if you don’t want to go that route maybe research (ala google) some natural herb remedies that could help?? I’m sorry Leah…that can’t be fun.
I have had sleep problems too…for as long as I can remember, but then I started to see an acupuncturist and it made a world of difference. You should give one a try! Feel free to email me if you have questions!
I used to have horrible sleeping problems when I was in college. But, now that I am up early in the morning and pretty much busy from that point on, I crash hard at night. Every once in awhile I have a bout of insomnia but nothing that lasts more than a night or two.
That is the worst! Especially when you think you’re gonna sleep like a baby and then you can’t sleep at all. Ugh!