I took today off work. I have a bunch of stuff to do for school and really, I just needed a break. Sometimes I feel like I’ve taken on a bit much. I don’t do well with being bored so the busy schedule works for me, but the workload this semester is a bit of a bastard. And since lately I’ve been trying to have a life too, I’m getting a kind of overloaded.
I had a test and a presentation last night that I was not ready for (my presentation got postponed thankfully), another test tonight that I’ve barely studied for, and so much anxiety about it all that I’ve barely slept all week.
I feel like I’ve been severely overestimating my abilities. I’ve been telling myself that I can go out on the weekends and still get it all done. But I forget about the fact that there’s no one around to pick up the slack when I stay out drinking until 3am.
No one else is going to put away my laundry, or cook my dinners for the week.
No one else is going to remind me that I have a presentation to put together when I accidentally rub up against my whiteboard calendar and wipe off an entire week.
No one else will walk the dog, or remember to bring extra food to my parents house for her in case she runs out (theres no longer another dog to steal from).
It’s getting to me. I’m forgetting everything – I even left for school on Monday night without any books. Actually, I didn’t even have a pen. I lost my history textbook yesterday, and searched for it for twenty minutes before giving up. Then I found it under my desk at work. At this point its a miracle I’m remembering to put makeup on both my eyes before work.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that I’m doing all of this by myself. I’m proud of myself, I feel like I’m strong enough to do it all, and I wouldn’t change a thing. But every now and then, I kind of wish I had someone there to help me out when things start to fall apart.
Maybe I should try to convince my mom to move in with me.
Welcome! I'd love to hear from you: leah *at* whydeprive *dot* com
Being a grownup is so harrrrddddd…
Mental health days are absolutely necessary. I take at least one or two a year. Because I need them. People around me know not to argue this fact.
I usually had at least one sobbing breakdown a semester, and although I always worked during school I was not full time and can’t imagine how you do it. I can tell you though that you will get through it. It will always seem so much bigger when you’re tired and overwhelmed, but it will all turn out okay. You’re so right to feel proud of yourself, you’re seriously kicking ass at life!
And I think the dry erase thing was probably worth it
ha! It’s almost always worth it.
aww Leah…I’ve been feeling like that lately too…and I didn’t even have half as many things as you do.
A mental health day is much needed it seems, and I’m glad you took today off.
Take a deep breath. Regroup, and believe in yourself!
Sending you positive vibes, and virtual hugs from the other end of Surrey. <3 YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
Aww Winnie . . . you’re too sweet. Thank you!
I feel ya. There are some days when the laundry just doesn’t get done.
I’m glad you took a day off- that’s what those days are for!
Don’t worry, everything will be okay. I hated going to school full time and working full time. It kicks your ass. People wonder why I have 37 pairs of undies- it’s so in case there is a weekend I don’t have time to wash clothes I can still at least wear clean undies. That happened like 4 weekends in a row in college sometimes (okay all the time) so I have become used to keeping a month’s worth in stock at all times even as an adult. Get some rest! Good luck on your test! You’ll do great