Impact

I think we all have certain relationships that we’ll always carry with us. Whether or not the people stick around, the mark they leave does. We learn from them, we grow from them, they change us.

I don’t know what it is that makes some relationships more significant than others, they just kind of are. Maybe it has to do with the timing? Maybe the people that are around during something deeply emotional make a bigger impact. Maybe that’s why sometimes I feel like I’m still stuck in 2003. I don’t know.

The point is, there are some people that impact your life in a way that you will never forget. Good or bad.

There are the people that hurt you more than you ever thought you could hurt. They break you, punch you straight in the heart, shatter all your dreams. But ultimately they make you stronger than you ever thought you could be.

There are the people that help you get back up. The ones that stick around even when you give them every reason not to.

There are the people that just seem to get you. The ones you never have to explain yourself to because they just understand.

They won’t all always be there, but that doesn’t make them any less important. Just because someone isn’t in your life anymore, doesn’t mean that they didn’t change it.

I had a moment yesterday where I realized that the relationship I had always thought was my most significant, wasn’t. It’s still up there in terms of changing my life, but all of a sudden I’m realizing that I gave it way too much importance.

I think I made it seem so huge in order to justify everything that happened. The way I fell apart would seem more acceptable if the relationship was deeply meaningful. The things I did would be easier to justify if the relationship was ranked with high importance. It wasn’t though. It was childish stupidity. It was me being naive. It was letting myself be taken advantage of.

In realizing this, it feels like all the heartbreak I’ve been holding on to just kind of dropped away. I don’t need it anymore, and I feel like I’m finally ready to let it go.

That doesn’t mean it wasn’t a major event in my life, or that I will ever forget, it just means that I’m finally done learning from it. I can finally take all my lessons and memories, hold them close to my heart, and move on.